Courage in the face of adversity

I have not posted for a very, very long time. I have slacked on all fronts with posting, my diet, taking all recommended medications, and following all other doctors requests. I have definitely been feeling the consequences of those actions. As the new year approached I enrolled in the Pathways Program that the church runs through an online program at Brigham Young University- Idaho. I am enrolled in a religion course studying The Book of Mormon and have made goal to apply what I learn to my life in hopes that I will be able to do the things I need to in life to be healthy physically and spiritually.

Courage is defined as the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, without fear.  Courage is something that I lack in the aspects of me getting m health on track because I do fear the unknown like what if my body will not react to the treatments the way that it should or what if I can not make the proper life style changes needed.


I was reflecting on all of this while I was studying for our first lesson 1 Nephi chapters 1-5. Within those chapters a few versus stuck out in my mind as examples of how I can be courageous in life while facing adversity and following the promptings that come to me.























Sometimes we are asked or feel that we need to do something and not know what exactly is going to happen just that God wants us to do it. Nephi went forth and followed the Spirit even though he did not know what was going on but had full faith in God that it would all work out in the end. I have put off the things that I should be doing because I have been fearful of what is going to happen, even though deep down I know it will have good results in the end it is still scary to me. I am venturing into a new "world" and do not know where to look but I do know that as I continue to follow the counsel of those who are there to help me, follow the promptings I have God will not lead me astray so I will do as Nephi has and go forth.

Inconceivable 

Inconceivable was the the word that I kept repeating to myself after my mother and I figured out my symptoms where from psoriatic arthritis, and yes in case you wanted to know it did sound like this:

I did not want to believe that I had this. I tried to wait patiently for my doctors appointment that happened to be about two months after I had self diagnosed myself. I was hoping that I was wrong but deep down inside I kind of knew that it was psoriatic arthritis. 

I tried my hardest to not let it affect my job and other daily activities. I tried to focus on something else when I had flare ups and I was working. I thought mostly about trying to help out the patient I was talking to at the time but during down time I would focus on reading another chapter in a book to be able to give my hands a rest. Most of the flare ups that I have are in my hands, back and occasionally my knees(which makes it a pain to walk up stairs and makes me fee like I am 80 years old). 

I do not know why I was so worried about what doctor was the one I should see, I have had the blessing of having an uncle who is a D.O. and happens to have a practice near my home. Once my insurance kicked in I called and made an appointment with him. 

I took my sister with me because I needed some support(sisters are good a that). I took a deep breath and walked into the office. I am nervous but shouldn't be my doctor had known me my whole life why is it so nerve racking?

I was mostly nervous because my psoriasis had flared up on my forehead (I feel like it's a giant stamp on my face saying look at me) as he asked I said something like "this" as I pointed to my forehead and explained the joint pain I had been having for almost three months. I let him know that the joint pain I have is basically everywhere at times others it was just in my hands. He said it was psoriatic arthritis, I said yep that's what mom and I thought. He begin to explain to me what was causing both my psoriasis and the arthritis and it is the following:


SIBO(small intestinal bacterial overgrowth). He explained to me that the extra bacteria that I had is what is causing my psoriasis and has progressed to causing the inflammation I have in my joints. He then handed me a packet of papers for the SIBO Diet Food Guide.As he explained the next process I looked through the papers. It's not so bad, I like most the things on these lists... except for the fish... I have to get used to eating fish, I need more meats besides red meat and chicken. No GRAINS, I was kind of bummed out about that but knew the hardest part for me would be giving up my Coke. I love it so much I collect tins,Mexican Coke bottles,I even have a Coke puzzle somewhere. Water just tastes, well like nothing. I don't want to just drink water all day that is boring. How do I organize the food? Well I have room in my fridge since I share it with roommates? The bright side to it. I LOVE to cook. Time to get new cook books and make up new recipes,which I will share on here with everyone. 

The begining

Where do I start? Psoriasis is something that I have been dealing with since I was 14 years old. I didn't think much of it at the time because no one could really see where it was unless they looked hard at my elbow or if I had a pair of shorts on. I had a classmate that had it far worse then I did. Back in those days, I didn't have much access to the internet, and it never crossed my mind that I would still have it once I grew up.

My psoriasis would come and go as it pleased similar to a very good friend who you would only talk with every few months, always picking back up exactly where you left off.  I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and spent 18 months on a mission(teaching about my beliefs as well as learning a new language and culture) in Santiago,Chile. I didn't have many flare ups while I was there, but that was probably because even though I was stressed out at times I was eating healthier and walking everywhere I went.

My psoriasis started to worsen within the last two years. I would have breakouts on my ears, face, chest and torso.  I had come to the conclusion that it was going to be there

This was until I started to have severe aches in my joints this past January. At the time, I did not have health insurance so I told myself it was just the flu. It wasn't. My joints kept on hurting and getting worse. My mom and I googled psoriatic arthritis and found the following information:

Psoriatic arthritis is a form of arthritis that affects some people who have psoriasis — a condition that features red patches of skin topped with silvery scales. Most people develop psoriasis first and are later diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, but the joint problems can sometimes begin before skin lesions appear.

Joint pain, stiffness and swelling are the main symptoms of psoriatic arthritis. They can affect any part of your body, including your fingertips and spine, and can range from relatively mild to severe. In both psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis, disease flares may alternate with periods of remission.

No cure for psoriatic arthritis exists, so the focus is on controlling symptoms and preventing damage to your joints. Without treatment, psoriatic arthritis may be disabling.

The words, "No cure for psoriatic arthritis exists and without treatment it can be disabling." made me think, "Oh crap!  I can't have this!"

The thoughts that instantly came to my mind afterward: 

1. When is my insurance Kicking in?

2. What kind of doctor is best for me to see?

3. How much are medications and treatment going to cost?

4. Maybe I don't have it and I am making myself nervous. What 32 year old gets arthritis?!?!?!?!  

I checked stats online and it said 15-30% of 30-50 year olds with psoriasis get psoriatic arthritis...... 

All I need now is Effie trinket to say
"May the odds be ever in your favor."